University/ College is that magical place where students follow their dreams. Dreams might be of different kinds for different students but that`s another thing to talk about. Although, there are some types of students which I think, are found in every college/ University. Every class has at least a few students who
1. are like- Mujhe kuchh nahi aata (I don`t know anything) when the fact is-they are the ‘book bugs’-
Dude/Girl!! if you don`t know anything, how the hell are you topper of the class? Why are you always chant lines like -I don’t know/ I have no idea/ I don`t study at all. Stop it .I get confused here. By studying, you take knowledge not black money that you can`t talk about it or share it. Moreover, Before every result announcement why you intelligent people get nervous like hell. In fact some people cry before the result when the truth is that after result they will be the ones to give party for being topper. Why the hell do you cry then in the first place?? You make other average or above average students confused and hopeful for nothing. They are the poor ones who see you ‘book bugs’ cry before results and be hopeful for themselves that-okay! If he or she is crying may be his/ her exam dint go well and I might be the topper this time. But after result, you take away every hope. Don`t do it. Stop playing with emotions.
2. are like- Mujhe sab aata hai ( I know everything) when the fact is they are
book ‘bugs’ who eat head-
Now this is even more irritating category. These people are those who claim to know everything when the truth is they have either none or a very superficial knowledge about anything. They are the ones, who can tell you the type of classical raag in song- chaar bottle vodka of yo yo. If, you talk about politics- they know everything, You talk about education system- they know how to improve it, You talk about bollywood- they will tell you the wedding date of salman khan, You talk about science- They will claim to have invented life on Mars and higher I.Q. than Einstein. Chill!! You are not mad genious. You can not be sheldon cooper of every field. 😛
3. are from Bhed Chaal- ones who Jump on the Bandwagon:
These are kind of students who are studying in a particular college/ University and pursuing a particular course because their parents or may be their biggest well wishers like their neighbours wanted it. These students don`t take much interest in the study / extracurricular but they know they have to pass the exam and take the degree. They are like those stock of clothes which don`t draw much attention in a shopping mall during whole year but they somehow get clearance in annual sale.
4. are -The Illusionist ones
They are the mysterious ones. They are the ones who don`t get understood well. Intelligent students take them as foolish personalities. Teachers would see them lil brainy but careless and non-sincere. Stupid students feel good by considering themselves just a little less from these kind of students. But someday, these kind of students get into the news n then we become like- whattt!!! that girl/ guy chewing gum cracked civil services?? :O
5. are- The super stupid
Now, they are the ones who are like- 5th grade chimps. They don`t have any idea about any thing and they don`t give a damn about it. You will hurt your head thinking how the hell they managed to reach college. The last thing they want to do is study. They like being involved in bakaiti (nonsense talks and actions) and boasting, they don`t indulge themselves in any academic activity, they know exam schedule a day before exam, they cheat in exam and Sometimes they can be found as leaders of category 3 and the greatest thing with them are that they know these things about them and still are proud of themselves.
I don`t want to sound judgmental or something but whatever I am gonna say here , annoys me like hell. This is regarding So Called BIKERS (SCBs) who think they are hot like Hollywood actor Nichols Cage of Ghost Rider but actually they seem no less than Ali of movie Dhoom; the only difference is that Ali had a greater I.Q. I don`t know if this is only me or everybody notices it; the SCBs do some most stupid things which they think is supercool to do n they seem proud of their deeds. But the reality is everything they do only makes them the dumbest guys on the face of earth. I have noticed some trademark characteristics which these SCBs do and I would give some of tiny suggestions to them like
1. Stop Honking
First of all I don`t have any idea how SCBs manage to have truck horns in their bikes. If they get their original bike horns modified into truck horns, it is expected from them but if bike makers put these kind of super-loud horns in bikes by default then I would request Ali to counsel these motor bike companies. Secondly, I don`t understand why SCBs blow horn on empty road. Do they check their hearing capability or want other people to check on theirs? Human ear bones are the tiniest , I believe it`s not only evolution. It might be the effect of your stupid horn sound that even EAR bones could not HEAR the mother nature when she was ordering them to grow more. And dudes!! in a jam packed road, keep blowing your freakishly loud bike horn would not make other vehicles FLY. They would move when they get the way. So STOP HONKING.
2. Calm down your male ego
Dear SCBs, if some girl overtakes you that does not mean that she wants to race around. She might be in hurry or may be she simply overtook you. You don`t need to take that on your male ego. So don`t rely on your testosterones and don`t run your bike in snake motion just to overtake her again. And the silliest thing you do after overtaking is looking back at the girl and giving a victorious smile. CLAPS for that. I totally praise your victory. I wonder why they have not announced a Nobel prize for this type of epic victory.
3. Pink can never completely be blue
BTW (By the way) I am totally okay if you SCBs ride a scooty. It is a vehicle anybody can ride it. But, just so you know bro! Riding a scooty in max speed which is like possibly 90 km/h , in snake run style will neither convert your scooty to a Harley nor will it make other people see your scooty as Thunderbird.So Calm down! Either pick a real bike or just treat a scooty as it is because it is humiliating not for you guys or us girls, but for the scooty itself. You confuse scooty. Scooty can question her parents the way she is treated by you guys.
4. Stop Blabbering,
I understand that it is damn hard for you SCBs to make sense in anyway. I think your biking skills come in package deal with art of blabbering, shouting rubbish- the kooda bakwas. A girl passes by- you pass comment. A guy is faster than you-you become abusive. A traffic controller shows a hand sign to stop you on a four way- you blabber like he has stopped some leader or minister or prince. Shut the hell up.
Well , I am not saying that every guy with a bike does these things. This whole thing is for those SCBs -the So called Bikers who do (although they won`t admit). I wish them all the brain. 😛
A special note to Pillions-
Dear Pillions! I see you sitting on the back seat of the bike. When your SCB who drives the bike overtakes my scooty, you seem the happiest person on earth. You look back at me , move your fingers in your hair or sometimes on your bald head and give me a victorious smile. You celebrate this joyous moment with your bike rider friend by telling him if am going to take right or left turn so that you guys slow down your bike , wait for me to reach you so that you could say some beautiful piece of crap to me. You are amazing. We girls just adore you pillions. Just keep pooping up this way.
Wish you have All our pepper spray.
I know! I know! I am at the same place where other research scholars are. When people hear the word ‘PhD’ they assume that the person doing it would be absolute nerd, loner, boring and introvert. Well , I have no idea how and why people think so but yes most people do that way. I remember a month back my younger cousin asked if I ever watch movies. I was stunned not only with the question but also with the facial expression he had while asking this. It was like he would be surprised anyway. If I say that I don`t watch movies it will be surprising for him but seeing his expression I was more afraid that if I say yes! I do watch movies he would be even more surprised. I, in fact have faced some stupid , silly and kind of epic questions , I did not know answers of. You know what, we are seen like those extra weird kind of species which people wonder about if we belong to same planet as they do. They think that all Ph.D scholars belong to a special family of nerds who waste their time in taking a degree that makes them a fake DOCTOR who can`t even cure anything. So here I am going to mention those 5 things which I think people should never say /ask to a Ph.D. scholar and if you say/ ask, be ready to hear stupid and sarcastic answers like below as well.
1. Do you get paid for PhD?
NO NO. How could we get money? We are donkeys. We only carry weight and we have no right to eat.
2. You must have powered spectacles.
Oh yes yes!! All Ph.D. scholars have weak eyes. In fact, if we do not have weak eyes, we work hard to get those. We stare at the candle, we keep our laptops at full brightness, we watch TV continuously for hours and hours. Having weak eyes is one of the targets to achieve before joining for a PhD. If ,by chance, after all these things we fail to have weak eyes, we use zero powered glasses so that none would suspect us of not being a PhD scholar.
3. You are doing Ph.D (With extra large eyes)? Then you must be very senior/ older to me.
Yeah !no matter how young we are, we are assumed to be like 35.Yeah! We are treated like senior citizens of student population.Yeah yeah! I support it. In fact you know?we -PhD scholar, are born 35. We have never seen the childhood, teen-hood etc.We don`t know what other life stages are.
4. Don`t worry about PhD. It goes on, it will be done anyway.
How ?? How will it be done anyway? Is it a nature call?
5. WHEN WILL IT BE OVER?(The most epic & irritating one)
First of all, asking this question every once in a while would not help me finish my PhD. So don`t ask this stupid question- “ ARE YOU DONE WITH YOUR PHD?” every time you see me. It is PhD, not lose motion that It would happen automatically, in a blink of an eye. In fact PhD is just like constipation, as you think it`s gonna happen, but no matter how much time you spend sitting there and how much pressure you put in , it does not happen.